Jonathan (wurlybird9) wrote in talkaboutpoop,
Jonathan
wurlybird9
talkaboutpoop

A tasty protein shake

Well, it seems you've all been constipated, since there have been no poop stories.

Allow me to help resuscitate your bowels.

I'm sure you've heard the talk about Omega-3 and fish. Well, I'm allergic to fish. Thankfully, God invented flaxseed. Now you can get your healthy oil and some nutrition too in a tasty shake. Here's what you need:

--blender
--fruit (my favorite is banana. sometimes I also add strawberry, cherry, orange, or whatever is lying around)
--Ice (or use frozen fruit, then you'll need little or none)
--raw flaxseed (you can buy this at your local bulk food store. I get it from the Natural Food (Poop) patch. how much to use? depends on your caloric needs. I recommend at least 1/4 cup dry. see here for nutritional data:
http://www.nutritiondata.com/facts-001-02s02fv.html
you can use either golden or brown, nutritionally they're basically identical...golden often tastes better....but the banana will mask the taste anyhow. The brown is twice as cheap. Plus, it's the color of a good poop!)

You can also add some soy milk or powder, yogurt (this works synergistically with banana), or some other hi-protein source to make this a true "power" drink. But, the whole flaxseed itself is fairly high in protein.

Instructions:

Start with the flaxseed. It's tough, so you gotta soak it. In a pinch, you can soak it for about an hour or so before you make it. (don't leave it out too long though, as it will start to go rancid after several hours). I usually soak mine inside a jar in the fridge so it won't spoil. Use at least an equal amount of water, coz this baby will soak it up.

You see...that's why whole flax is better than taking just the oil. You get protein, and FIBER! But not just any fiber. Flax is a mucilaginous seed. Basically, instead of just soaking in the water, it turns the surrounding water into a jelly. The main ingredient in Metamucil (psyllium) is *also* a mucilagenous seed. So you get that same laxative effect, plus well balanced nutritional value, for only about $1 per pound.

Now that you have become an enlightened consumer, put that soaked flax in the blender, add a little water if it's too thick, and start grinding. (your blender may start to vibrate. it's a great morning pick-me-up. be sure you don't burn out the motor.)

Things are gonna start to get HOT with all that friction. So, add some ice. When the ice starts to crush, visualize your victory in crushing THE MAN!

Now you can add the fruit. I usually start with thicker stuff and then thin things out. So, add some banana. Then maybe some other fruit and some more ice to seal the deal. By now you should see brown flax husks along the sides of the blender. (the insides of the seeds are cream color). If for some reason a few seeds still haven't been crushed, don't worry, they'll pass right through harmlessly.

You can now relax and celebrate your triumph over dependence on corporate laxatives. Enjoy your banana-flax smoothie!
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